Training the Little Ones

I am now going to be focusing my blogging on training and parenting the little ones, Emmy, Laci, Jack, and Jesse. I need some motivation, and more consistancy and I am hoping that by focusing my writing on discipline, I will remember to place it as a priority. Parenting is not easy, but it is simple. I just need to stay on top of it, and apply what I already know. For some reason, having the first two girls pretty well trained has made me think that the last four will just learn by osmosis. I have now proven that is doesn't.

Today I will focus on my middle child.

Emmy has many character issues that I have seen for quite some time now, but have put off correcting, because surely they would work themselves out, and I was too tired to worry about it yet. She is six now, and all day today we dealt with her picking on her little sister, pushing her older sisters, and being deceptive. I finally realized that this needed to be dealt with and had her sit on her bed. She ended up having to stay there for quite a while. Even while on her bed, she was disobeying. She got into nail polish, and then had the gall to argue that she wasn't "painting", when her sisters told me she was "painting her sisters fingernails". I knew right away that she was trying to play the old Bill Clinton trick, playing with words. When she was finally able to listen and obey, she was allowed to join the rest of the family. When Dad got home, she freely shared that she had a bad day because she made bad choices. This does show some progress, but I have the feeling it can't be this easy.

More training

I do believe I have stumbled upon a revelation. I need more training. As I am cleaning out our family closet, finding many things that do not belong there, I realize that most of these objects that mysteriously end up being stuffed in between clothing belong to the same child over and over again. And the next thought through my head is, man she really needs "boot camp" again. (Boot camp for us is when we take a week and focus more on discipline and training, than on anything else with that child.) Then, not even a flicker of a second later, "she's just like you", runs through my mind. CRAP. I still need more training. I need to lead by example.

I did not learn a lot of life's simpler lessons until my adult years, and I am still working on half of them. Some examples of those rules are:

• Pick up after yourself.
• Do it right the first time.
• Don't wait 'til tomorrow.
• If it's worth doing it is worth doing right.
• God is a god of order, and there is a reason for order.
  

I am an extrovert. I love the party, and I fear missing out on the fun. My daughter, Julie, is a carbon copy of me. If there is even the hint that something more exciting is happening on the other side of the wall, everything must be dropped, or at least finished extremely fast with no regards to the quality of the work, and fun must be had. I find it really humbling to say, but I am still like that. My dresser still has a pile of stuff on it, that I put there because I wanted to get on with the fun instead of taking the 3 extra steps it may take to put it in the right spot (my house is tiny). And I am doing it right now. I should be cleaning, instead I am writing, because this is more fun (and I am even taking a beating from myself). All I have to say is WOW. I think I need to chew on this some more. Back to cleaning, unless I find something else more enticing!!

Discipline

So yesterday morning I was getting the day rolling. We had dentist appointments at 11am. Which meant we needed to leave by 10:30am. Which meant the kids needed to be in the van by 10:15am. At around 9am, after breakfast, and after the baby was fed, I started gearing the kids up for leaving. Alison and Julie had done their school for the day the night before, knowing that we would not have time for it the next morning, (rare but brilliant planning on their part). That left Emmy and Laci's reading lessons and chores. Not too much to be done in an hour and a half. I sat down to begin the lessons. Laci was on my left, and Emmy on my right. Everything was going great, until I said it was time to get shoes and coats on. Ali and Julie went right to task, one grabbing Jack, the 2 year old, and the other delivering the soiled baby to me, just in time to change him quickly and then power feed him. In the mean time, Emmy and Laci should have been fully capable of getting ready themselves. In enters Ali. "Mom, Laci is on the steps and won't come and get her shoes on." Then I, still nursing Jesse, say, "Tell her to come and see me." A few minutes later, Ali, "She is slowly scooting down the stairs and won't come." I, with a forced smile on my face and through clenched teeth, "don't worry about it, I will deal with her in a few minutes." From the door, Julie, "Mooooo-ooooom, Emmy won't get in the van." Now, having lost my cool, and not being the mommy of the year, yell, "I will deal with it in a minute!" This may sound nice and innocent on the screen, but in my head it was not nice at all. I had to regain my composure before dealing with Laci, or we would both regret it. I calmly, yet firmly call out to Laci, telling her to go to the bathroom. Crying, followed by some fake sobbing. I begin buckling Jesse, and looking at the clock, now reading 10:17am, I am starting to lose it even more. Now we are going to be late, I was ahead of schedule, and now we're behind. Still trying to keep my cool, I enter the bathroom, where Laci awaits, only to find her laying in the bottom of the still damp tub, trying to hide. WHOOOAAAHHH, did I have to reign in the beast of a mom then. Again, I smiled through clenched teeth. Deep breaths, she's only 4. I held her little cheeks in mine, after pulling her out of the tub, and waiting for her sobs to settle down a little. This is where Debbie Pearl, author of "To Train Up a Child", comes into my head and reminds me that it isn't Laci's fault. I have trained her. I have been the inconsistent one. I am the one who needs to change. As I hand out her consequences, I know that I have a lot of work ahead of me. The next week will be spent training, and drilling her on how she needs to listen to her older siblings, and walking her through the process of getting her coat and shoes on, and getting in the van. When I will find the time to do this? Who knows!!!???!!! In fact, I am holding on dearly to the fact that I get to re-energize. I am going to Florida to visit my mentor. She is the reason I homeschool. She is the reason I parent the way I do, and she has given me this gift of taking a break as well. She calls it a jubilee. I met her in Grand Haven, MI. She now conveniently lives in Tampa, FL. I will have much to share next week, and it should sound like it is coming from a sane person!! I am off to bed. Sweet Dreams.

Yesterday

Yesterday was a very exciting day. We went to the dentist. I had all 4 girls checked, and there were no cavities!! Today I am going to try to rearrange my schedule and post my results. I am trying to work in the preschoolers and trying to make sure I am not on the computer all day. So, I am going to schedule 20 minutes 2 times a day to check email, blog, and twitter. We will see how that goes. I will have to share my discipline escapades from yesterday. Laci, the 4 year old, was up to her usual impy self. More on that after schooling is done.