Possible?

So I am making it. I have only one more day until Florida. Normally this would be an exciting thing, an enviable thing, something that I would feel undeserving of, but not this time. This time it seems miraculous. That I survived. That it is here. That it is going to actually happen. I have been able to fake it for the last 5 months. That is how long I have been sleep deprived. Actually longer than that. That is just how old my youngest son is. I didn't know how bad it was until this past week. I can't even get excited about Florida. I am just getting through the next hour, the next minute. I can't think ahead to tomorrow. Wow, that verse just popped into my head. I will look it up....

Matthew 6:34 (New International Version)

34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Courtesy of Biblegateway.com)

I truly have never been in the situation for that verse to ring so true. I haven't been a parent, I have been wandering aimlessly. My girls are ready to have me back. I try to accomplish things, and I think I have even fooled people into thinking that I am keeping things together. If they could only see inside. The broken vessel that I have become. My brain hurts. I haven't begun packing, and I don't want to. Even that seems too overwhelming. I am sure I will get through that one. My need for the break will push me through.

I guess that is where hard work has paid off in the long run. God knew that this time would come. I was able to put together a schedule that the older two girls can keep up with. The younger ones are trained enough that they don't do anything too dangerous. And, Jesse, the baby, is a great baby. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for having a perfect plan.

Now the tears are threatening. I had better wrap this up while I can still see. I may not post again until I return, but surly I will have a ton to share when I do.

"Do not worry about tomorrow...."