The Return

OK, so how do I possibly share it all? I am going to try to sum everything up, but forgive me if I babble or seem a little unorganized in my delivery. I am going to have to do this in a couple of installments because of the time, and the fact that I still have a household to try to run!!

To give a little bit of background, I have a wonderful friend and mentor that I met in 1997 in Grand Haven, MI, just 4 months before my first child was to be born. Her name is Monique, and she had 4 children of her own. She now has 6. She home schooled and trained her children in a way I had never seen before. I was very interested in how she did things and she was gracious enough to take me under her wing, and has yet to let me out of her sight. She has since moved to Kentucky, and just a couple of years later, to Florida. While in Kentucky, the jubilees began. For one week, once a year or so, I would drive down to see her. My girls, 2 of them at that time, would stay with my mother, or my sister, and I would go alone, for 5-7 days for rest and rejuvenation. Monique also has a jubilee whenever she can get a chance, and has a passion for providing that for others as well. So, that being said, I went to Florida this past week for my jubilee. Now when I go, my husband takes the week off of work and stays home with most of the kids. My mom usually takes one or two, and if I am nursing, I take the baby. So, John stayed home with Alison, Julie, Laci, and Jack. My mom had Emmy, and I took Jesse with me. I was slightly dissappointed that I didn't get to go completely alone, but can I really complain about getting to go to Florida???!!!!???!!!

My husband just got home, so I will continue this tomorrow. Much more to come!!

Possible?

So I am making it. I have only one more day until Florida. Normally this would be an exciting thing, an enviable thing, something that I would feel undeserving of, but not this time. This time it seems miraculous. That I survived. That it is here. That it is going to actually happen. I have been able to fake it for the last 5 months. That is how long I have been sleep deprived. Actually longer than that. That is just how old my youngest son is. I didn't know how bad it was until this past week. I can't even get excited about Florida. I am just getting through the next hour, the next minute. I can't think ahead to tomorrow. Wow, that verse just popped into my head. I will look it up....

Matthew 6:34 (New International Version)

34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Courtesy of Biblegateway.com)

I truly have never been in the situation for that verse to ring so true. I haven't been a parent, I have been wandering aimlessly. My girls are ready to have me back. I try to accomplish things, and I think I have even fooled people into thinking that I am keeping things together. If they could only see inside. The broken vessel that I have become. My brain hurts. I haven't begun packing, and I don't want to. Even that seems too overwhelming. I am sure I will get through that one. My need for the break will push me through.

I guess that is where hard work has paid off in the long run. God knew that this time would come. I was able to put together a schedule that the older two girls can keep up with. The younger ones are trained enough that they don't do anything too dangerous. And, Jesse, the baby, is a great baby. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for having a perfect plan.

Now the tears are threatening. I had better wrap this up while I can still see. I may not post again until I return, but surly I will have a ton to share when I do.

"Do not worry about tomorrow...."

UGGGHHH

So, I am supposed to be heading out to Florida tomorrow. My husband calls this morning to have me pick him up because the car has broken down. This not only costs money that I should be taking with me, but I am also supposed to take the car to the airport. I am sure that God will work it all out, but UGGGGGHHHHH.