Really?

I know I said I would finish later, but life happened and I figured out even more stuff that I need to share at a later date, but for today I just wanted to say that I never thought I would be here.

Where is here, you say? Here is in a confused state of wonder, questions, and despair. I think the normal world calls it "postpartum depression". I have been trying to put my finger on whether or not that would describe what I have been going through lately or not, but how can mentally confused woman really know?

So, on the advice of now 3 dear friends and my husband, I am going to talk to someone. Scary. I am not even sure why. I mean, if I really am dealing with this, it isn't that big of a deal, but really? Me? I have even fooled myself into believing that I have been handling the transition into 6 kids phenomenally. From the outside, my house is not bad, the girls are doing great in school, and my husband is not lacking (if you know what I mean). I have been able to keep the plates spinning. Can you be clinically depressed and still juggle life? I guess I am about to find out!